Dump your Ego and find your
True Essence
Your 'True Essence' is the part of you that is not your Ego-identity. It is the core of your being from the moment you were born, and it will always be pure and indestructible. In life, it's our purpose to discover our 'true self' and become a true genuine authentic person. This may be new to you but it is your gateway to letting go of all your struggles and find Inner balance, Self-empowerment, Self-compassion and Happiness.
Perhaps you might have worked on your personal development but didn't discover your Essence yet, therefore several things still aren't working out as expected:
- Are you holding back out of fear of being judged, making a mistake, failing and losing the love and acceptance of others?
- Are other people's opinions defining how you feel about yourself and do you belief them?
- Is your critical inner voice tearing you down and often telling you that you're not good enough?
- Are you living life for everyone else, feeling weighed down by should's, need to's and have to's, while ignoring what makes you happy?
- Are you struggling with your feelings and suppressed emotions?
- Have you ever lost faith and belief in yourself, and you doubt whether your dreams and desires are actually possible?
- Have you been struggling to accept yourself, feel happy in your skin, confident, worthy, deserving and proud of who you are?
- Do sneaky patterns of sabotage, procrastination and avoidance keep blocking you creating the change you are craving?
This is just the way our mind is dealing with thoughts, feelings and life situations. Our mind (Ego) is programmed to use our stories, past experiences, beliefs and other people's opinions to create an image of who we think we should be.
We are trying hard to be this image so we can feel good enough, or feel lovable or feel that we belong.
What Is 'Your Essence'?
In a way, we all struggle with our needs, feelings, thoughts, relationships and self-worth. We all try to find a little more happiness, love and security. The way to achieve that is by becoming more self-aware through new knowledge, insights and practice so the meaning of 'your Essence' will be more clear. This will explain everything about your own struggles, your relationships, your needs and your feelings about life. What is the main difference to the Ego personality?
Most people will say: "We are human beings searching for spiritual knowledge". However, we can use a different perspective on this. Let's assume that "we are spiritual beings having a human experience". This so called ‘spiritual being’ is your True Essence, and your ‘human experience’ is how life is perceived by your Ego personality. This is essential to investigate.
This Ego personality has been shaped by your environment and by the ways that you have adapted to events and coped with situations. Your Ego and your Essence are both part of your wholeness, but the Ego can become so dominant and complex that the 'light' of your true essence becomes hidden. Therefore the whispering of your True Essence (intuition) will be hardly noticeable and you might feel lost sometimes because of this.
Your Essence is known as the True authentic personality, rediscovered through self-awareness, that has own values, more clarity, empowerment, worthiness, self-trust and true compassion. This is the genuine individual with an open heart who feels happy and connected. The Ego personality, however, has a sense of disconnection and separateness.
Many people are reaching the point where they become vaguely aware of this 'separateness' and they start to ask deeper questions like:
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Why do I feel so much resistance to life?
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Why do I struggle with my emotional luggage?
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Why am I here?
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Who am I?
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How can I be good enough?
The answers to these questions will emerge when you start to remember your true nature, and the first step is to become conscious aware of the separation between your ego-personality and the authentic personality (your Essence).
We all need an 'identity' to exist in this society and to have direction so we can live a meaningful and fulfilling life.
The choice you can make is: "Do you want to exist as an Ego-personality or as an Authentic personality?"
This personality is identified with the past. It has an Ego-identity and rely on its own knowledge, stories, beliefs, opinions and assumptions.
The Ego-identity is using a mask to keep itself secure.
Deep inside, the Ego feels not good enough and tend to compare itself to others. It is often judgmental. Unfortunately, it's also judging itself and its feelings. That could be hurtful of course.
The Ego-mind is always thinking about the past and future. It has regrest, it worries, it overthinks a lot.
There are days that it tend to focus on the negative, on lack or on fear-based thoughts. This doesn't feel good but it doesn't know how to stop it.
But when the Ego-mind is quiet and the heart is open, "I" can feel quite happy and connected.
Ego personality
Every day, I become more authentic because I practise self-awareness. I believe that letting go of that old luggage is serving me on my life’s journey.
With an open mind I can investigate and experience more about myself and discover who I am not...!
I am not my thoughts, I am not my feelings. I just have them temporarily at that moment. This new groundbreaking perspective changed the view on myself and other people.
I became free of my thinking mind since I opened up to new knowledge and relied more on my intuition. Now I know that I am worthy and good enough from the day I was born.
In my core, I am still pure love and untouchable. My heart opens up when I am touched by pure beauty or witnessing an act of love.
True authentic self
Why Should You Care?
It might not seem easy to deeply understand 'Who you are' and 'Why you behave in specific ways all the time'. Let's assume it is your life's purpose to gain insight about this, so that you can learn to become free of your thoughts, self-talk, inner critic (i.e. your thinking mind). This insight will allow you to understand your feelings and emotions better.
The goal here is to become more genuine, worthy, compassionate, loving and fulfilled so that you know that you are truly good enough already! But how to become free of something that is controlling your life for so many years?
Why is it interesting to understand your thinking mind?
The rational mind can be analytical and functional by thinking very fast, looking up some old memories and solving problems. All based on what you have learned during your lifetime. So, you might use your beliefs, opinions, self-image and assumptions to 'colour' your perspective on a situation or person. Could it be beneficial when you were more 'objective' about situations and people? Could it improve your relationships when you understand your own 'triggers'?
The following questions will give you an indication if you need to understand more about life and yourself:
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Do you tend to deal with a negative situation by overthinking, or by letting it go easily?
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Do you experience more negative feelings or thoughts lately?
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Do you tend to blame others for your situations?
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Do you have healthy and harmonious relationships with your parents and family?
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Are you able to accept yourself fully?
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Do you compare yourself to others and how judgmental are you?
I believe that becoming authentic and non-judgmental is a lifetime process of spiritual growth. It's like peeling an onion and over time as we grow, heal, and love ourselves more and more, we become more of who we truly are. The mental structures will gradually degrade to reveal our true self and to open our hearts even more.
Benefits Of Living By Your True Essence
Feelings of true authenticity can go hand in hand with numerous psychological and social benefits: higher self-esteem, greater well-being, better romantic relationships and enhanced work performance.
People tend to think they are very consciously aware of themselves and know exactly who they are. But in reality, they are not very aware of their own Ego-patterns, subconscious reactions, emotional blockages and limiting opinions and beliefs. They don't notice the bubble they are in and their, almost automatic, reactions to situations or people.
When people experience inner struggles or have fear-based thoughts and feelings, they might experience being them. Practising self-awareness offers a good solution to deal with them and to become more genuine and feeling empowered.
True authentic people have considerable self-knowledge and are motivated to learn more about themselves. They are equally interested in understanding their strengths and weaknesses, and they are willing to honestly reflect on feedback regardless of whether it is flattering or unflattering. With a small Ego, this is no problem at all.
When people change their mindset, they increase their sense of well-being and thus will experience more happiness.
Passionate About
Inspiring Others
Hi there,
I am Henk van der Ven, a licensed Holistic therapist and Transformational coach since 2010. I studied in The Netherlands and immigrated to New Zealand in 2017.
I believe that a better understanding of our mind, soul, feelings and past conditioning, is truly essential to become a more conscious, happy and genuine human being.
My mission is to help people to 'travel light' through life by gaining important insights about their current mindset, Ego-identity, feelings and automatic behaviour.
This understanding will open up their mind to use different perspectives on life and themselves.
What to let go to become free?
What to question about limiting beliefs, expectations and old stories?
How to change your opinion about yourself and others?
How to deal with your feelings and thoughts differently?
It's all about knowing what your current level of self-awareness is and learn how your transformation can take place as a natural process in your life.
My favourite spiritual teachers are:
Eckhart Tolle, Michael A. Singer, Adyashanti, Jeff Foster, dr. Joe Dispenza, dr. Bruce Lipton and Allan Watts.
