Heal yourself by finding your

True Essence

Your 'True Essence' is the part of you that is not your current sense of Self (identity). It is called the 'observer' of your Ego, your thoughts and feelings. In fact, it is als known as your 'true self', your intuition or your soul.

You might say that your soul is the immaterial essence and totality of who you are at a core level – it is your true nature. As all of life at its core is energy, a soul is the whole of this energy – the sum total that animates us, moves us, and even speaks to us in quiet moments when we need guidance.

In life, it's your purpose to reconnect with your 'true self', just to become the genuine authentic person that you are behind the mask.

This will change your whole perspective on yourself, relationships and society. It will open your eyes to see yourself differently.

True authentic people have gained considerable self-knowledge and are motivated to learn more about themselves. With a small Ego, this is no problem at all. When people change their mindset, they increase their sense of well-being and can let go of all their struggles to increase their Inner balance, self-empowerment, self-compassion and happiness.

Perhaps you might have worked on your personal development but didn't discover your Essence yet, therefore several things still aren't working out as expected:

- Are you holding back out of fear of being judged, making a mistake, failing and losing the love and acceptance of others?

- Are other people's opinions defining how you feel about yourself?

- Is your critical inner voice tearing you down and often telling you that you're not good enough?

- Are you living life for everyone else, feeling weighed down by should's, need to's and have to's, while ignoring what makes you happy?

- Are you struggling with your feelings and suppressed emotions more often?

- Have you ever lost faith and belief in yourself, having doubts whether your dreams and desires are actually possible?

- Have you been struggling to accept yourself, feeling confident, worthy and proud of who you are?

- Do sneaky patterns of sabotage, procrastination and avoidance keep blocking you creating the change you are craving?

This is just the way our mind may deal with thoughts, feelings and life situations. Our mind (Ego) is programmed to use our stories, past experiences, old beliefs and other people's opinions to create an image of who we think we should be.
We are trying hard to live up to expectations so we can feel good enough, or feel lovable or have a sense of belonging.

When you've decided to change all of this... congratulations! You've already started your transformation process.

Your Essence versus Your Ego

“Sometimes the past should be abandoned, yes. Life is a journey and you can't carry everything with you.

Only the usable baggage.” ~Ha Jin.

Discovering who you are not

In a way, we all struggle sometimes with our needs, feelings, thoughts, relationships and self-worth. We all try to find a little more happiness, love, intimacy, security and meaning in life. To achieve a truly rewarding and fulfilling life one must gain balance between soul, mind and body.

Your sense of identity

You may have baggage from the past, but you don't want to be defined by your life story, right?

Holding onto your old stories, mental patterns, fears, beliefs and inner voices can create inner struggles, overthinking, worries, seeking, holding back in relationships and being judgmental about your feelings and about Life.

This is the bubble of the Ego. I will explain a bit more about this.

A new perspective that makes perfect sense

Most people will say: "We are human beings searching for spiritual knowledge". However, we might use a different perspective on this. We all have a soul, so let's assume that we are "spiritual beings having a human experience".

This so called ‘spiritual being’ is your True Essence, and your ‘human experience’ is how life is perceived by your Ego personality (your past). This new perspective offers a lot of new possibilities to investigate.

This Ego personality has been shaped by your environment and by the ways that you have adapted to events and coped with situations. Your Ego and your Essence are both part of your wholeness, but the Ego can become so dominant and complex that the 'light' of your true essence becomes hidden. Therefore the whispering of your True Essence (intuition) will be hardly noticeable and you might feel lost sometimes because of this.

Your Essence is known as the True authentic personality, rediscovered through self-awareness, that has new values, more clarity, self-empowerment, worthiness, self-trust and true compassion. This is the genuine individual with an open heart who feels happy, balanced and connected. The Ego personality, however, has a sense of disconnection and separateness.

Many people are reaching the point where they become vaguely aware of this 'separateness' and they start to ask deeper questions like:

Why do I feel so much resistance to life?
Why do I worry so much and feeling anxious?
Why do I struggle with my emotional luggage?
How can I deal with my past?
How can I just be myself more often?
How can I feel good enough?

The answers to these questions will emerge when you start to remember your true nature, and the first step is to become conscious aware of the separation between your ego-personality and the authentic personality (your Essence).

We all need an 'identity' to exist in this society and to have direction so we can live a meaningful and fulfilling life.

The choice you can make is: "Do you want to exist as an Ego-personality or as an Authentic personality?"

Your Ego is identified with your past and who you think you should be, in the eyes of others.
So, the Ego is using a mask and wall to keep itself secure and presents itself as positive as possible.

During our upbringing the Ego is build upon its experiences, knowledge, stories, beliefs, opinions and assumptions. Therefore your background will slightly colour your perception of reality. That's normal.

Deep inside, the Ego feels not worthy enough and tend to compare itself to others. Being quite judgmental. Unfortunately, the Ego is also judging you and your feelings. It's often painful to hear your inner voice critisize you.

The Ego-mind is always thinking about the future and the past. It worries and it overthinks a lot of what has happened. Most days are positive and kind of okay.

Some days it tends to focus on the negative, what you lack or on fear-based thoughts. This doesn't feel good to you but you don't know how to stop it.

But when the Ego-mind is a bit more quiet and the heart is open, "You" can feel quite happy and connected.

Ego personality

Every day, I become more authentic because I practise self-awareness. I believe that letting go of that old luggage is serving me on my life’s journey.

With an open mind I can investigate and experience more about myself and discover who I am not...!

I am not my thoughts, I am not my feelings. I just have them temporarily at that moment. This new groundbreaking perspective changed the view on myself and other people.

I became free of my thinking mind since I opened up to new knowledge and relied more on my intuition. Now I know that I am worthy and good enough from the day I was born.

In my core, I am still pure love and untouchable. My heart opens up when I am touched by pure beauty or witnessing an act of love.

True authentic self

Why Should You Care?

Do you know your Ego?

At the moment, you might think you know yourself and your past quite well. The Ego-mind is running your life and tries to keep you safe. Behind your façade, the Ego likes to meet your needs in any way possible. Therefore it compares you to others, judge them and often also yourself. To experience some happiness, the Ego creates desires and wants to get something more or better soon. But does this Ego make you feel good enough, worthy, lovable and connected?

Understanding your Ego-mind

The Ego-mind can be analytical and functional by thinking fast, looking up old memories and solving problems. All based on what you have learned during your lifetime. So, you might use your beliefs, opinions, self-image and assumptions to 'colour' your perspective on a situation or person. Could it be beneficial to you when you were more 'neutral' about situations and people? Could new insights into yourself improve your self-image and relationships?

The following questions will give you an indication if you need more insights:

Do you tend to deal with a negative situation by overthinking it (self-evaluation)?
Do you experience more negative feelings or thoughts lately?
Do you tend to blame others for your situation?
Do you have healthy and harmonious relationships with your spouse, parents and family?
Are you able to accept yourself fully? Do you love yourself?
Do you compare yourself to others and how does this make you feel?

Becoming an evolved person

There are different reasons to start knowing yourself a bit better because you want a change. You want to improve aspects of yourself to be able to meet your needs. You want to understand your feelings and thoughts so you can make conscious decisions that serves you on your life's journey. You want to know what your life is about and want to know more about what is really important to you! What feels right, how to make this transformation work for you?

Life's purpose

Let's assume it is your life's purpose to gain insight about this, so that you can learn to become free of your thoughts, self-talk, inner critic (i.e. your thinking mind). This insight will allow you to understand your feelings and emotions better.

The goal here is to become more genuine, worthy, compassionate, loving and fulfilled so that you know that you are truly good enough already! But how to become free of something that is controlling your life for so many years?

I believe that becoming truly authentic, open-hearted and non-judgmental is a lifetime process of spiritual growth. It's like peeling an onion and over time as we grow, heal, and love ourselves more and more, we become more of who we truly are. The mental structures will gradually degrade to reveal our true self and to open our hearts even more.

Benefits Of Living By Your True Essence

Feelings of true authenticity can go hand in hand with numerous psychological and social benefits: higher self-esteem, greater well-being, better romantic relationships and enhanced work performance.

People tend to think they are very consciously aware of themselves and know exactly who they are. But in reality, they are not very aware of their own Ego-patterns, subconscious reactions, emotional blockages and limiting opinions and beliefs. They don't notice the bubble they are in and their, almost automatic, reactions to situations or people.

When people experience inner struggles or have fear-based thoughts and feelings, they might experience being them. Practising self-awareness offers a good solution to deal with them and to become more genuine and feeling empowered.

True authentic people have considerable self-knowledge and are motivated to learn more about themselves. They are equally interested in understanding their strengths and weaknesses, and they are willing to honestly reflect on feedback regardless of whether it is flattering or unflattering. With a small Ego, this is no problem at all.

When people change their mindset, they increase their sense of well-being and thus will experience more happiness.

The benefits of personal transformation are e.g.:

to know your strengths and which unconscious patterns might be holding you back.
To unlearn that which is not appropriate for you on your life's journey.
to restore balance between heart and mind.
To learn to listen to the heart and open it more.
To stand firmer and witness your 'automatic' behaviour.
To respond 'consciously' to situations and people.
No longer sensitive for other people's opinions.
Set your own course to discover a new direction in life.
No longer do expectations create pressure or stress.
To experience freedom without the Ego-patterns.
Letting go of the burden and the shadow.
Accepting yourself by knowing that you are good enough and lovable.

Passionate About

Inspiring Others

Hi there,

I am Henk van der Ven, a licensed Holistic therapist and Transformational coach since 2010. I studied in The Netherlands and immigrated to New Zealand in 2017.

I believe that a better understanding of our mind, soul, feelings and past conditioning, is truly essential to become a more conscious, happy and genuine human being.

My mission is to help people to 'travel light' through life by providing new perspectives on their current mindset, Ego-identity, life story, feelings and unconscious behaviour.

This understanding will open up their mind to become self-realised people. Just being comfortable with who you are.

Self-realised people have their own identity. Their own brand, charisma, and a light capable of inspiring others. They have created themselves through a process in which they've learned to accept themselves, with their virtues and defects. They're clear on their priorities and how to achieve their goals in life.

It's all about knowing what your current level of self-awareness is and learn how your transformation can take place as a natural process in your life.

My favourite spiritual teachers are:

Eckhart Tolle, Michael A. Singer, Adyashanti, Jeff Foster, dr. Joe Dispenza, dr. Bruce Lipton and Allan Watts.

How I Can Help You

Nada para reservar por el momento

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