Change your life by becoming
your True Self
"If the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their own experience,
that alone would change the world." – Sydney Banks
Only at the peak, you will have a clear overview of yourself, your life and relationships. This allows you to discover more about your true identity (essence), your thought-patterns (ego) and your feelings.
During your life's journey, you have the opportunity to climb that peak to get that overview. You will gain new perspectives on yourself that are empowering and clarify how you can evolve into a genuine and strong individual. It also enables you to travel 'light' through life because you know exactly what personal baggage to left behind because it isn't serving you on your life's journey.
Climbing that peak is a conscious choice and requires an open mind, motivation and an inner knowing that you need new perspectives. Are you ready to start (or continue) your transformational process to improve your life and increase your well-being?
Transformative coaching is all about discovering 'Who you are (not)'. Yes, you can break free of your past and feel good about yourself, improve relationships and have a meaningful life.
My transformative coaching style is focused on enabling self-actualization to empower people. It will help you to see yourself in a different light, it dives into the understanding of Life, becoming your True Self rather than doing what your ego thinks and desires.
I ensure clear communication and provide you with practical methods for creating different opportunities for transformation. The aim of my approach to coaching is to let you experience how to deal with your thoughts and feelings differently. Just by understanding the mind, you can move towards a more authentic life. That is a life that is more balanced, fulfilled and will satisfy your needs.
The Struggles In Life
Perhaps you were already interested in your personal development but didn't discover your True Essence yet, therefore several things still aren't working out as expected:
- Are you holding back out of fear of being judged, making a mistake, failing and losing the love and acceptance of others?
- Are other people's opinions defining how you feel about yourself?
- Is your critical inner voice tearing you down and often telling you that you're not good enough?
- Are you living life for everyone else, feeling weighed down by should's, need to's and have to's, while ignoring what makes you happy?
- Are you struggling with your feelings and suppressed emotions more often?
- Have you ever lost faith and belief in yourself, having doubts whether your dreams and desires are actually possible?
- Have you been struggling to accept yourself, feeling confident, worthy and proud of who you are?
- Do sneaky patterns of sabotage, procrastination and avoidance keep blocking you creating the change you are craving?
This is just the way our mind may deal with thoughts, feelings and life situations. Our mind (Ego) is programmed to use our stories, past experiences, old beliefs and other people's opinions to create a self-image. To the outside world we try to be a person who we think we should be, just to feel good enough, feel lovable or have a sense of belonging. Life gets tough when we are trying harder to live up to expectations and we feel that we can't and therefore feel disappointed in ourselves. Only you can decide to do this differently by learning how!
So, when you've decided to change all of this... Congratulations, you've already started your transformation process.
Are we really conscious aware?
Living life through the Ego-mind
Your Ego is identified with your past and defines who you think you should be, in the eyes of others.
So, the Ego is using a mask and wall to keep itself secure and presents itself as positive as possible to meet your needs.
During our upbringing, the Ego is built upon its experiences, knowledge, stories, beliefs, opinions and assumptions. Therefore your background will slightly colour your perception of reality.
Deep inside, the Ego may feel not worthy enough and tend to compare itself to others. Being quite judgmental at times. Unfortunately, the Ego is also judging you and your feelings. It's often painful to hear your inner voice criticizing you.
The Ego-mind is always thinking about the future and the past. It worries and it overthinks a lot of what should have happened. Most days are positive and kind of okay.
Some days the mind tends to focus on the negative, on what you lack or on fear-based thoughts. This doesn't feel good to you but you don't know how to stop the thinking.
But when the Ego-mind is a bit quieter and the heart is open, "You" can feel quite happy and connected.
Living life as a genuine person
Every day, you become more authentic because you practise self-awareness. Therefore you are more able to respond to situations instead of reacting.
One day, you just decided to look for that change to break free from the old stories about yourself. With an open mind, you questioned your own values and old beliefs that were holding you back in what you want.
With new knowledge, you discovered who you are not...!
You are not your thoughts. You are not your feelings. You just have them temporarily at that moment. Feelings are your guidance when you see them as neutral information so you can find direction in life.
You became free of your thinking mind and rely more on your intuition. Now you can accept yourself, know that you are worthy and good enough! You deserve to be loved and you can express yourself fully. Other people's opinions are not important any longer, you know what you stand for!
You understand much more about yourself, the Ego and your old emotions. You have learned to let go of that old baggage and only kept what is truly serving you on your life’s journey. You appreciate what you have, focus on the positive, have an open heart and follow your joy in what you do.
People tend to think they are very consciously aware of themselves and know exactly who they are. But in reality, they are not really aware of their own ego-patterns, subconscious reactions, emotional blockages and limiting beliefs. When people experience inner struggles or negative thoughts and feelings, they might experience being them. Improving your self-awareness offers a different way to deal with them, gain more insights, change your mindset and to become more genuine and balanced.
Our sense of happiness is part of our sense of well-being. This means that we have to take a look at how we experience life and how we behave on a daily basis. Most people live their lives according to what they have learned during their lives. They might think that they are defined by their life story. They might believe that thoughts and feelings are a big part of their Ego personality. This is very common, but we can change towards an Essence personality by learning to be genuine and non-judgmental.
My Mission
Hi there,
I am Henk van der Ven, a licensed Holistic Mind-body therapist and Transformational coach since 2015. I am Dutch and immigrated to New Zealand in 2017 because I love this country.
I believe that a better understanding of our thoughts, feelings and past conditioning, is truly essential to become a more conscious, happy and genuine human being.
My mission is to help you to 'travel light' through life by providing new perspectives on your current issues, Ego-identity, life story, feelings and unconscious behaviour.
I use the '3 Principles' of Sydney Banks to let you gain new insights and perspectives about yourself and life. This will help you to change what you need to become a self-trusting and self-realized person.
"Self-realized people have their own identity. They are living in the present moment, being non-judgmental and following their purpose. They have created themselves through a process in which they've learned to accept themselves, with their virtues and defects. They've learned how to connect with an open heart. They're clear on their priorities and how to follow their joy in life."
It's all about discovering your current level of self-awareness and learn how transformative growth can take place in a natural way.
"We are meant to evolve into the person who we really are."
My favourite spiritual teachers are:
Eckhart Tolle, Michael A. Singer, Sydney Banks, Adyashanti, Jeff Foster, dr. Joe Dispenza, and Allan Watts.
